Cooking programmes

Why oh why are these programmes so popular?

My wife wonders why I won't sit in front of the telly and spend hours of quality time with her of an evening.
The answer is very simple!
She dominates the zapper, and does nothing but watches cooking programmes and expects me to do the same, and I'm not interested!

I wouldn't mind if she actually tried to cook something that she's seen, but she doesn't! Never!

She cooks (and enjoys) good honest English food, and like you and me, loves it.

However, all these programmes seem to do, is to pander to the rare (well off) dinner party brigade that looks for the snobbish presentation! ( these meals wouldn't feed a pidgeon!)

The programme "The Great British Menu"!

What a bloody laugh! How many of us eat like that?

How many times a week do you or I sit down to an evening meal of Quail, Partridge, Salmon, Trout, Pidgeon, Hare, Rabbit, Duck, Pheasant, Wild Boar, Squid, Eels, Oysters, Mussels, Venison, Veal etc, to be complimented with Origano, Parsley, Thyme, Garlic, Turmaric, Truffel, Fennel, Mace, Cumin, Sage, All Spice, Chillies, Peppers, and God know's what else that is available?

Answer: Less than 0.01% I'm convinced!

Can you afford to eat like that on a regular basis (and would you want to)?

The Great British Menu has always been: Roast Lamb, Beef, Pork, Chicken, Eggs and Bacon, Kippers, Black Pudding, Baked beans, Ham, Scrambled eggs, Toast and Jam, Boiled Eggs, Cereal, Sausages, all sorts of pies like Steak and Kidney, Chicken, or Egg and Bacon. Pasties, Hot Pots, Stews, Casseroles, Dumplings, Offal, Cod and Chips, Londoners' Pie and Mash, Jellied Eels, Cockles, Winkles and the like Sea Food, meat suet puddings like Bacon Badger etc, Beef Wellington, Steak, Gammon and the like.
The list is endless!

Then we start on the puds! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Fruit crumbles like apple and rhubarb etc, Bread and Butter pudding, merangues, Egg custard, Bread Pudding, Rice Puddings, Tarts, Baked Apple, Semolina, stodgy puddings like Spotted Dick, Jam Roly Poly and Treacle Puddings etc.

Now that is real British cooking! not all of the foriegn shit that these up their arse Chefs prepare!

So why don't these self indulgent Celebrity? Chefs piss off abroad if they're that clever?

The reason is they wouldn't cut it in the real world they think they live in!

They don't represent the majority of food eating Brits in England at all, yet we're inundated with these programmes!

Celebrity is what you seek, and unfortunately, celebrity is probably what you'll get for being foreign!

Your ever hungry Worm..........................

PS. Have you noticed how these culinary icons always seem to be touching
their hair, beards, ears and noses, and yet never seem to wash their
hands!